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Pricey Harriette: Now that I’ve misplaced weight, my associates are treating me in another way. I used to be at all times the heavier pal. Final yr I began my health journey, and it’s carried out wonders for my shallowness. I gown nicer, I’m going out extra and I’m only a noticeably happier individual.
I seen just a few months in the past that my associates don’t deal with me the identical as they did once I was greater. It’s fairly refined, however I went from being invited in every single place with them to solely getting the invitations for sure issues. One pal specifically made a remark about how “cocky” I’ve change into. There’s no approach I’m cocky. I believe they’re simply used to me having no confidence in any respect, so that they don’t know take care of the assured model of me. How do I deal with this? — New Confidence
Pricey New Confidence: Begin by speaking to that pal. Moderately than being defensive, ask questions. Discover out what, particularly, that pal was speaking about when referring to you as cocky. Ask what they assume you’re doing in another way now. Hear rigorously in an effort to get a way of what’s on their thoughts.
Acknowledge that your life has modified. As you might have misplaced weight, you’re creating self-confidence, one thing you had little of earlier than. Inform your pal that your life feels completely different. Describe what you want about getting more healthy and what’s difficult you. Amongst these challenges is the altering dynamic of your pal group.
Inform this pal after which the bigger group that you simply see that they’re treating you in another way. Ask why. Inform them what you need. If that’s to remain near them, discuss it out to find out what’s going to make either side completely satisfied. Know, too, that you could be must develop or re-curate your pal group.
Pricey Harriette: My mom buys my kids no matter they ask for, however she often asks that I reimburse her for the issues that she buys. My sons are on the age the place they ask for 1,000,000 issues. I do know when to say no to them, however my mom doesn’t. I find yourself paying for all the pieces ultimately. I’ve informed her that I can’t afford for her to maintain spoiling them like that, however she retains doing it every time they spend time together with her. What ought to I do? — Say No
Pricey Say No: Sit your mom down and inform her that you should draw the road. Clarify that you don’t imagine in giving your kids the entire issues that they request, and you can’t afford it. Warn her that, beginning now, when she buys issues for them, you will be unable to reimburse her. After which comply with up with the matching motion. DO NOT PAY HER BACK. At first, your mom might be shocked as a result of you might have set a precedent of giving in to her whims. It’s time for a brand new precedent. Cease paying, and shortly she is going to seemingly cease shopping for.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist individuals entry and activate their desires. You’ll be able to ship inquiries to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
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